- 8/19/2014 -
Oh boy. Where do I even start with this? Well, I remember us actually meeting in the 3rd grade. You were super skittish and would only talk to me sometimes. You had a bad virus that really messed you up and I felt so bad for you. Then you moved away and I didn't see you after that. Even though you were gone, I always remembered you. I still to this day have memories of those times back then. You never left my mind. Then I went to highschool. I went to a school out of my district for my art career and apparently you did too. We started talking again and you easily became one of my best friends. It was great.
Then 10th grade happened. That was a disaster. Due to my anxiety and not knowing what it was or how to control it, I pissed off everyone. Not to mention I had a stalker who tried to steal my current boyfriend and I got told I was the one being mean when I said it made me uncomfortable. I guess that's why I started feeling something for you. I knew this situation was bad and I wanted to desperately get away, but I was too afraid. This stalker tried to replace you. I lied to you. What I did was wrong and I regret it even now. Then I started to pull myself away because, people lied to me and said you were starting to hate me too when I thought you were the only one left. At that end of the year, I was alone. No boyfriend, no friends. It was bad.
Moving on to 11th grade. I hooked up with old buddies on my school bus and they gladly took me in. Besides for a few little bumps everything was good. I got a new boyfriend and I was happy. It made me even more happy when you came back to me. You said your weren't friends with the ones who left me behind almost a year ago and you wanted to hang out with me again. It made me so happy to have you back. You were my best friend and it didn't take long for us to be that again. But as soon as you came back, so did my feelings for you. They never really went away, I guess. After my boyfriend and I broke up for mutual reasons of we didn't really feel like we were even in a relationship, I accidentally asked you out. I say accidentally because, now that I was single, my awkward crush ways would show. I would probably have gotten all stuttery and sweaty around you. I just wanted to tell you how I felt so it wouldn't be so awkward. Then you agreed to it. It took me a bit to realize we were together but, I was super happy nonetheless.
Ever since then you have always been by my side. You're always there for me when I need you. You've taught me to not hate myself so much. To understand that it's healthy to vent and I shouldn't bottle it all up inside. That I'm not an attention whore like everyone called me back then. You gave me hope for my future when before, I had none. You are my light that keeps me going in the darkest of times. You've given me so much when I haven't done nearly as much. It makes me wonder why you put up with me sometimes, but I'm glad you do. You are my inspiration. My best friend. You are my love. I can't imagine my life without you. I hope for us to be together for the rest of our days. I love you so much, Jamie. Never forget that.